Cuts Deep

Ever have one of those moments where your heart totally stops? Where the whole world literally stops spinning because for one second your world is completely focused? Focused on one thing, one object, one entity. Yeah well that happened tonight, and its all the agony that one could ever ask for, especially when it hurts someone that you love very deeply.

Had one of my exes start dating one of my current friends exes. Admittedly, we barely dated if you can even call it that, but she was literally the first girl that I ever had really strong feelings for, and visa versa for my friend. Well they started dating a long time ago, broke up, and then recently got back together.... Not a big deal right?

Well it wouldn't be a big deal..........if they hadn't wound up walking into the movie theater we were in..... Emotions and feelings that I haven't felt in forever welled up inside me. Seeing her face again, its just like.......wow. Then I look over at my friend, who Is very dear to me, and see that she's in complete agony seeing Him again. She has the same reaction to seeing him, as I have seeing her.

Then at that point the whole world seems to stop. Here you are, torn every which way. On one hand you're dealing with romantic emotions because you're seeing your ex, on the other hand you are feeling genuine unconditional love for your friend who is also hurting, then you are feeling anger at the fact that this is even happening...........and then you do what your spirit tells you to do, and has trained you to do for a very long time.

You let it go.

You don't hold it, because it is not yours to hold. They aren't your emotions any longer. You let those emotions, and those people go a long time ago. Picking them back up is not progressing forward. It is not acting in Love as God Loves us. Its not love at all. Its being selfish. You want to feel wronged, oppressed, hurt, and grieved. You want to have righteous anger for being wronged..... But did Jesus do that?

Did Jesus when He was wrongfully accused act out against His aggressors? Did He react with Righteous anger? Did He smite down those responsible for His pain and suffering? No........He gave the most significant forgiveness that I think is in the scriptures. After He had been beaten, whipped, disgraced, stabbed, and hung by His hands and feet as an example to those who would dare challenge the Religious mindset of the present day, He looked towards the heavens and said. "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."...........For they know not what they do.

These people are not to be hated. They are not to be torn down by us mentally. They aren't to be held accountable to us, or answer to us for anything that they've ever done. They are to be forgiven. They are to be loved. Because Love is not about us. It is about them. Its not about what they did to us, Its about what He has done for you.

So with that in mind, I pray Jesus that you pour out your blessings, Your Love, Peace, Prosperity, Hope, Joy, and Serenity on them. That from one person turning the other cheek, a door would be opened for you to change a heart, and a life. For from one heart being turned, you are able to change the face of a planet. Not with the ideals taught to us from a religious mindset. Not by any of our own means or plans, but God by your divine knowledge and love placed inside us by Your Holy Spirit, I pray these things.

In Nomeni Fili, Te Amor, Amen

All about Him, Not about You

Ever feel like modern day Christianity is all about you? What you should be doing, could be doing, what your life should look like, be like, feel like. Always being told what you need to do, and how God needs to be Your #1. Most importantly, how You need to love God, and love God more.

Yup. I've been there. I've done that, and I survived, thank God! One day I woke up to the realization, its not about me. It's not about what I can do, or what I can't do. It's not about me loving Him more, or Me doing things for Him, or Me doing anything at all. Except laying down my need to always be doing something, my need to be in control, my need to "get my life together now" or "shape up". Its not about me doing anything. Its about Him, doing everything in me and through me.

When I say Him doing things through me to, I'm not saying to just go do good deeds, and that's Him working through you (Though that does happen!), but usually you will do things on your own, out of the calling that He has put in your heart. Life then is run off of your Spirit, and not off your mind. You will no longer feel like you don't measure up, or feel like you aren't doing Gods will for your life if you pass up that opportunity to go out ministering this weekend. It's not about you. It's about Him.

God is more than capable of taking care of His people, and the audacity that we have to assume that God needs us to complete His will. Admittedly, God uses people in this world, but whether or not you are Used by God has nothing to do with your level of spirituality, or how close of a relationship with Him that you have. God uses some people in certain ways, others in other ways. So long as you are following the calling in your heart, you are doing exactly what God wants you to do.

Even as I use the word "doing" I am reminded how much Christian society revolves around how much we "Do" as Christians, and how frustrated I get when I'm judged because my lack of doing. There is a time and place for everything, and making people do something that their heart really isn't in, is counter productive. The same thing is true when people have problems or issues that they haven't been able to overcome yet. We label them, and call them out....I really don't know when that has done a lot of good. You have to Love people through their problems and issues. I do think that there is a time when God will tell you to let someone Go, and you have to do that, but you as a believer will know when those moments arrive for yourself.

But everything that you end up doing, is God doing it through you, not you doing it. Not by your Will, Or your Might, or your Parents Might for you.......Its Not about You doing ANYTHING EVER.....Its about Him. Him doing things IN you. Not you Doing things for Him. Its about how much He Loves You, not how much You love Him. Its about How He Heals and Makes You Whole, not about How you followed these 12 biblical steps and are now free.

There is a difference, if only a small one sometimes, between Religion and Spiritual Freedom. Religion has law, and the law is about Me. Freedom has Love, and Love is about Him.